If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
