I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
