Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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