we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry about my life...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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