I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
