why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Never underestimate the power of titties
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
