i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
