i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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