Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
