since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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