I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He better not be in your backpack
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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