Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Terrible idea I love it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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