my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
