Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
