Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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