He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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