Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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