So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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