I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
