i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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