I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
