Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
