i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
sex in a hospital.. check
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
