Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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