They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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