She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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