Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
