I'm sorry my penis didn't work
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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