you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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