I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
