i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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