Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
