Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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