I need help removing her.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
