I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
