he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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