hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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