Tell her she can't have a vagina
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
