Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
