All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
