yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I could fuck to npr.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
