Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking heโs engaged. Pro tip: donโt research one night stands.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
