Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
