Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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