wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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