well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
