My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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