thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
