Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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