Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
