he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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