At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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