Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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