Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
zippers are such a cool invention
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
