You're completely useless in the revolution.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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