lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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