I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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