this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
