your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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