Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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