If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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