Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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