Me. At least after what I've been through.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
