Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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